It sounds like a cliche from TV or film, and it’s been used more than once on those screens. We could argue about the value of resistance during war, but what does it mean in everyday life? Does it have any value at all in helping us create the life of our dreams?
In my experience: yes. Very much so. We usually have goals we’d like to achieve. Passing an exam, getting a job, finding a partner, etc. It’s a natural part of building a life we love.
So we make plans, and keep our eye on the goal as much as we can, while we work steadily towards it. So far so good. However, we often get side tracked when problems arise, and things that go against our plans and goals.
For example: we might find a subject at school much harder than we thought. Maybe we fail a mid year exam, and now worry that we might fail the final exam at the end of the year.
So how do we deal with this issue?
There are two ways, which seem similar, but will produce totally different results.
We can refocus our sights on our goal, or we can worry about the obstacles we face.
In other words, the choices for our focus are:
- towards what we want
- against what we don’t want
Often, we’re taught to focus on our problems, so we can figure out how to solve them. However, this usually leads to stress and struggle, neither of which help us to think clearly.
It’s actually more helpful to remain focused on our goals, and possible solutions.
I often got myself into trouble seeing a problem out in the world, and then arguing strongly against the problem. This lead to others arguing back, and I’d often work myself up into a stressful state. No fun.
Instead of arguing against the problem, I could have just kept my focus on looking for a solution. By imagining possible ways to deal with the problem, I felt much better.
Strangely enough, just feeling calmer and more peaceful usually meant that solutions would occur to me far more quickly and easily, without the stress and strain of old. Stress confuses our thoughts, and makes us less creative.
Here’s an example many of us are familiar with: driving. We’re always told to look where we are going, and not where we’ve been. We’re told that if we find ourselves skidding on ice, to always look where we want to go, and not at what we want to avoid.
e.g. towards the road, and not at the tree next to it.
Another example belongs to the wider world. Have you ever heard of the War on Drugs? It hasn’t worked very well has it? How about the War against Cancer? Or the War against Poverty? None of these have worked, because we’ve focused on what we don’t want.
War is usually against somebody or something. Struggle, resistance, stress. Not good. It doesn’t work, and it feels bad.
If we changed our focus, and created for instance a Project for Health, or a Focus on Equality, we’d probably do much better. Ok, so these projects don’t have the best titles, but by focusing on what we do want, rather than what we don’t want, we’ll get better results.
Even Mother Theresa said: “I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”
Perhaps she knew something many of us have forgotten.
Try it on something small you want to deal with. See how much better you feel moving towards what you want, rather than pushing against what you don’t want.
You might like the results!